Family Matters

Communication is a skill to be learned and practiced. It is a vital component of every relationship, especially marriage.

Prov. 15:1 says, "A soft answer turns away wrath; But a grievous word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise utters knowledge aright; But the mouth of fools pours out folly"

Have you ever just said the wrong thing at the wrong time? Or tried to say something & it just didn’t come across to the other person like you wanted it to?
If that is the case then the question is, how do we communicate effectively? Those who do research on such things as relationships and communication, tell us that a message is communicated in three ways:

1. Content measures about 7% of the total communication. The actual words of the message make up less than 10% of what we say.

2. The tone of voice measures 38% of total communication. Notice that the way we say things, i.e. tone of voice, has almost five times the impact of the actual words. One statement may be given a completely different meaning simply by changing the tone of voice.

3. Non-verbal communication is about 55% of the total communication. By far, the most important part of communication is what we call "body language." Facial expressions, hands on the hips, a cocked head give a different meaning to the actual content of the message.
It is most important that all three components match.

Suppose the message is "I love you" but the eyes are looking at the ceiling, the shoulders are slumped and the voice trails off. The content ("I love you") is fine but the overall communication says something else. If all three match, people will not only understand but will also believe what they hear us say.
Good communications skills have to be learned, so let me encourage you to study the various levels of communication and think about how you can communicate better with your spouse or loved ones.